Trying to find understanding. Words will never be enough.

16 Dec

I am sitting here trying to make sense of all that has happened. I know God has a plan and purpose for everything, but I can’t see what the purpose is for taking a life all too soon. One minute he is walking listening to music, and the next he is gone. This boy had such a zest for life and one of the hugest heart I have seen. I just don’t understand the reasoning for taking this kind soul out of the world. I think he would have done so much good….this world needed him in it.

We first met him and his dad through a friend who is related to them. From the start both Father and son were kind and none judgmental. My husband and I felt so at easy with the father that we already considered him a friend right away. The son (who even at a young age was wise beyond his years) was accepting of all my children, and never judge Joe for being different like so many others had. I don’t know if he ever realized how much of an impact he made on my son. Just that simple act of offering friendship to a boy who didn’t understand why most turned him away was a light in my son’s life. We would all hang out at my friends house ( her place was were everyone gathered, friends and family alike…I guess you could say we all became a family in a way over time). The kids would all play the xbox together while the adults gossiped and hung out.

I remember the time we all went on a camping trip together. I was terrified to let Isaiah go with anyone in the water but me because I was convinced if I did, something bad would happen. It was the father that finally talked me into letting his son watch him while I swam for a while, promising me everything was going to be okay and I believed him and he was right. For those three days we hung out, fished, went swimming, and just enjoyed life and each others company. This young man was just amazing with little kids.  Last year when my son was being harassed and bullied everyday it was this boy who with out me even knowing (at first) went to the bullier and stuck up for Joe. Through a conversation I later had with him he let it slip on what he did. I don’t think he intended for me to find out. He did it because he cared, not because he wanted recognition for it. I was actually brought to tears from his selfless act. He then volunteered to look out for Joe and make sure he was okay. This was yet another act of kindness he had showed to my son who had very little experience from others his own age.

While Joe saw him more at school, I think I saw him and his father a handful of times after that. It seemed like our lives were shifting and we all had less time to gather together like we use to. Now I wish there were something I could do to make all of this go away, get a redo just this one time to change certain events but I can’t. The world doesn’t work that way not matter how hard I wish it would. Joe didn’t talk for almost three hours after we told him about the accident, he cried for about as long too. I can only image what his family is going through.  No matter how much I want to be there right now as a source of comfort and support, I also understand the need for space and time. I honestly don’t think my words would come close enough to given even a semblance of ease to the grief they are all going through at this moment. All I can do is offer my support, my thanks to the father and son who did not have to be so loving and kind to a family that was not their own, but for a time become an extend part of ours, and shared memories of times that were bright and full of laughter. Our lives are blessed for being given the time and opportunity to  know and befriend such a pure and kind soul.

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