Is it only a glimpse ?

13 Aug

I understand I may not be the most sociable person, and I may look somewhat unapproachable, but for those that know me, do I only show glimpses of a kind person? I know I am a very emotional person, I lean more toward the crying, numb emotion when I am hurt. I guess I could come off as uncaring if I am numb.  I really don’t know what else to write. I can’t share anything anymore because I say to much I guess, but I thought that was the point of having a blog. One thing that is a blessing and a curse is it can not give any advice or talk back. Sometimes that is what I need. Just an outlet I can use to vent, yet sometimes I need someone that talks back. Maybe no one wants to talk to me because I am a broken record. skipping over and over again on the same problems.  It could be that I am an irrationally, irritatedly negative person. Or that the way I see things are so off from everyone else, that I will always feel lonely no matter what. Maybe I feel too much about the wrong things. I could be wired wrong and react emotionally backwards to situations? What right do I have to feel the way I do anyway right? Especially if all I do is wine, through pity parties, and don’t have an outgoing enough personality that if something I said hurt someone it couldn’t be held against me because I am just that awesome of a person. As I think about it I really do not know how to interact with that many people. Maybe everything is my fault because I don’t truly know how to be around, and interact with others. Could it be that I play pretend and act like someone that knows how to be a friend, a wife, a mother, a spiritual Sister….I honestly couldn’t tell you. Maybe I should just suck it all up and bottle it away so I don’t have to deal with it or get real with myself. That seems to be the majority  consensus. Forget about the issues sweep them away and always put a smile on your face. Who am I? Writing this stupid blog now has my mind all in knots. When I started writing it I was pretty sure I was a kind hearted giving person, but now I am not so sure. It has been said that people can only see glimpses of that person I thought I was, and that was being projected to others.

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